Giving Things Away

Well, I spoke a little too soon. I’ve had a setback with the anxiety after I heard my son get up in the middle of the night on Monday (early Tuesday) and come downstairs. I followed to see what the matter was and found him upset, after a row with his girlfriend. It was three in the morning, and my anxiety levels were rising, just, as Mr Litlove said afterwards, as you can lose control of your temperature when you’re up at that hour with only a few braincells in operation. But what was I going to do? I wouldn’t have thought much of myself if I’d put my troubles in front of his, and as any parent of an almost-grown child knows, you don’t get so many opportunities to show them you love and support them. I can see that the challenge of these opportunities (for goodness knows parenting is rarely easy) is that they will come at inconvenient moments.

We spoke for about an hour and a half and it was a very good chat. The two of them made up the next day and my son was able to go to an important university interview yesterday with everything right in his world. So that was exactly the right outcome. As for me, the anxiety came and went as we talked, but when I got back to bed every muscle in my body seemed to be in a knot and I knew it wouldn’t be pretty when they unclenched. I’m not exactly thrilled that being virtuous should result in yet more days of feeling awful, but I’d do it again, because everything else about it was right. Now if I could just get rid of my post-adrenaline-poisoning headache, I’d be almost normal.

waiting-for-sunriseSo, given that I’ve fried the review writing brain yet again, here’s something different we can do. I have an extra copy of William Boyd’s current bestseller, Waiting for Sunrise, courtesy of the publishers. It was a novel I loved and can warmly recommend. If you’d like to leave a comment, I’ll put your name in the hat for it. I’m not going to be swift off the mark in getting this in the post, so I’ll draw a name in a week’s time. Good luck!


40 thoughts on “Giving Things Away

  1. “I’m not exactly thrilled that being virtuous should result in yet more days of feeling awful.” Glad you two had a good talk, but yes. That is one of the worst element of CFS, or whatever mind/body issue we have. When we do something challenging and good, we seem to get punished not rewarded.

    Put my name in your hat–though I can understand your wanting to limit who is illegible by shipping cost. I finally got a used copy of Rosie Carpe which you recommended. But it is in French. Would you like it?

    • Oh bless you, but I do already have Rosie Carpe in French. Will you be able to read it? I’d love to know what you think of it, if you were. As for CFS, gah, it is the most frustrating illness, full of unreasonable and unfair obstacles. I have to say, though, that this time more anxiety has meant less fatigue. So for me, there is definitely a connection there, though I doubt this is key for everyone.

  2. Oh, I’m always up for a give-away drawing. If you’ll be sending things overseas, put my name in that hat.

    Sorry to read about your anxiety issues. Parenting is an anxiety-inducing state, even without any other concerns. I’ve been reading your blog for a long time, but it is difficult to believe that your son is now at the age for university interviews. Wow! It has been a long time, hasn’t it?

    • Don’t ask me where the years have gone! When I began this he was a small boy, with an unbroken voice and a passion for comics. Even I can’t believe what’s happened here, and I’ve been witnessing the transformation every day!

    • Yes, I take heart from the fact that few people are at their best at 3am, except for the teenagers in my son’s group of friends who all seem to be night owls. I was glad that our talk went okay – at least something positive came out of it all!

  3. I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel and how you live your life. But I do know you are brave and I applaud you. Thanks for sharing all that you do!

    And yes, I’d like to my own hat in the ring for the book. Thanks for giving us all an opportunity out of your ordeal. 🙂

  4. I think you will bounce back more swiftly this time, Litlove….this is my fervent belief! And it is wonderful that you were able to have this talk with your son…I don’t have kids, but I never could have had that type of discussion with my mother (not even now).

    If you are willing to send to the US, I would love to put my name in the hat. But no worries if this is too much postage. My library has a copy. 🙂

    • I think I have recovered a bit quicker this time – and wasn’t quite so disabled by it all. I can’t tell you how relieved I am that my son will still talk to me sometimes, and I work very hard to make sure I don’t lose that privilege. Because it is one; no one has instant right to another person’s intimate life, relative or not, and there’s nothing like a relative for rubbing us up the wrong way despite well meaning intentions!

  5. Good for you and I hope the grots soon pass. It’s a pig when your infuriating side reacts by feeling bad when you should be totally pleased with what came out of a situation. I was wondering where your son was up to. My daughter is on the uni trail too, next one on Wednesday. No need to put me in the draw as you know. Keep on keeping on!

    • I was wondering about your daughter too! It’s a bit relentless at this time of year, isn’t it? I must drop you a note so we can catch up properly. I’d love to hear how H is getting along. And thank you for this lovely kind comment.

  6. As I’ve said elsewhere, I’m so sorry to think of you going through this horrendous anxiety. I hope you can focus on your own needs for a change, and life can begin to look and feel brighter for you soon. As for the book – you’re the second person who has recommended it, so I’d be happy to have my name in the hat!

    • It’s funny how easy it is for life to suddenly become unreasonably taxing, and I find it particularly annoying when there is nothing actually wrong right NOW. But I’m a strong believer in learning coming out of bad experiences, with a bit of luck and the right amount of attentiveness. Well, cross your fingers, anyway…

  7. Oh, those early morning hours are when my anxiety is at its worst (if most ambiguous). What a good night’s sleep is worth!

    If you are able to ship to Canada, throw my name in that hat, but if not, I’m still yours in solidarity!

    • I do appreciate the solidarity – thank you! Wouldn’t life be so much easier if sleep were an entirely reliable commodity? (and yes, I should have said earlier, everyone’s in the draw, shipping not a problem).

  8. As Mom to three, I’ve been there…more than once…but I wasn’t coping with additional physical and anxiety challenges at the same time (at least I don’t remember it being so), so I empathize. Throw my name in the hat, Litlove, if you please. (I won a set of hair curlers in high school once. It’s fun to win!).

    • I once won a copy of the Guinness Book of Records. I think that’s the only thing I’ve ever won! Yes, I’ll bet the situation is not unknown to you, Grad. Just wish I had your calm and panache! The empathy is very gratefully received.

  9. You will always be a mom no matter how much of an adult your son seems to be becoming and I am sure it matters as much to him that you went to talk with him as it did to you. Sorry for the setback–hope you are feeling better now! As for the Boyd–I’ve got this one, too, on my reading pile….maybe after Wolf Hall? 😉

    • Lol, after Wolf Hall! There are always so many in the queue! And you are quite right – I don’t think it ever ends, the worry and the hope that you might figure out a way to offer support (it’s a tricky thing). I feel in such a funny place, sort of glad to be free of my big responsibilities and sad too, but never the right feeling at the right time, sigh.

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